Giving advice has always been something I’ve done almost automatically with the
“intention” of helping others. The thing is, I give amazingly helpful advice…. but I never take it myself and I’m usually the one that needs it the worst.
What I’m just now learning is a big deal. I’m going to quote part of today’s page in the OA “For Today” book. “If I talk a spiritual program and practice that program to the best of my ability, people ask me to share my experience. They want what I have because what I have is obvious even to the newcomer. If, on the other hand, I make suggestions I do not follow, my words are hollow sounds without conviction.” Wow!! That really struck a cord!
Not only do people not really want my advice, especially when it’s unsolicited, but if I give knowledge or suggestions that I myself don’t/won’t follow, no one is ever going to listen no matter how wise the words are and how “wise” I think I am.
This all goes back to giving up the control. Not only is it not all about me, I can’t control their lives and I shouldn’t be so arrogant as to assume that I am “good enough” to do it better than they are already doing.
Point blank: lead by example, teach by living it, not giving it.