Wow today has been an emotionally chaotic roller coaster ride. Why it is so hard to remember that I cannot control anyone but myself? it is beyond me but I sure hope that I can turn this day into a strong reminder that I need to stop trying to control life and others’ actions. I had a really rough start to the day (thanks to me) and thankfully reached out before I created too much damage. God helped me keep my mouth shut and showed me where to reach out for help. I am so thankful to my amazing Auntie that reached out to me yesterday and helped me find a more appropriate and God-given method of talking out my emotions. Thank you Aunt Vicki, I love you. I also reached out to my fellows in OA on our email loop and was given a beautiful gift, a piece of the program. I really needed to hear that. Great wisdom and big lesson. Also recieved a lot of prayer and support. God helped me turn this day around and remember that while my duty on earth is to serve others, I must first put me first, deal with my problems, make positive progress and learn new behaviors, tools, and love, for myself, God and from that, love for others. While I would have preferred to not have had the emotional pain, I am grateful that I did and that I can learn from it.